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These days are associated with Ahlebait (a.s.) and considered to be very holy months, most of the people prefer to arrange wedding functions during these three months (Jumada al-Thani, Rajab al-Murajab and Shaban al-Moazzam). Usually this is done because of our close association with Ahlebait (a.s.), we celebrate our happiness when they are happy and when they are in grief we also turn into sadness, although this is a very excellent way to demonstrate our love, respect and association with them but one should understand that when anything, any event or any function is done in their name it obviously means that organizers should take extra care and the gathering should be very pure as it is done in the name of "Lords of Purity".

BUT

Whenever you feel like your Gunnah account has reduced and you are feeling uncomfortable because of that, just don't worry ... Go and attend a wedding function of so called "Moderate Family", you'll find a complete Gunnah package and those 2-3 hours per function is enough to increase your account. And if the function is of your close relative/friend, then just be prepared for some extra ordinary packages like buy one get many free and special discounts upto 100%.

The story starts with the wedding week when you are invited to join a Mehendi function; as soon as you step out from your home the counter will start or maybe it was started the day when you accepted that invitation and started preparation for it. Hmmmm, nicely dressed, you reached the invited place, you'll be greeted with some cool music playing in ultra loud voice and you'll be seeing some females with proper "western" Hijab greeting your ladies, no need to mention that you are in a mix gathering as there was no other choice for organizers cause the Mehendi function has to be mix gathering as it is sunnat-e-Iblees.

Your account has start increasing but there is much more to come so remain excited, now you have two choices (don't worry both of them will earn you equal Gunnah), either participate in the "Dhoolki and/or Dandiya" performed by girls and boys or remain seated and enjoy the show. Young children must be enjoying the dance and remember DO NOT scold them when they repeat this action at home with their siblings and cousins because you are the one to encourage and develop this notion in them. For most of the children this won't be a new thing as STAR PLUS has already taught them all these gestures.

And now comes the most disgraceful part of the ceremony, music is on its peak and family members are going to perform Imam Zamin ceremony, with the voice of "Salwat" which will ofcourse muddle up with the music sound, the groom wears Imam Zamin of "YA ALI" and bride wears of "YA FATIMA" and with that Imam Zamin tied on the hand, groom starts shaking hands and taking "Musafa" with Na-Mehram women like Chachi, Bhabbi, Sali etc. etc., still with the "YA ALI" Imam Zamin on the arm, bride's sisters and cousins do the "ANGHOTA PAKRAI" rasm. This is when girls from bride's side hold the thumb of groom and demand for certain gift, I am not against the tradition but holding hands without any barrier is what makes it Haram.

Do I need to mention that you can easily convert this Gunnah into "Gunnah-e-Jaria" by just letting the movie maker to shoot your uncovered head in his camera? You can easily earn Gunnah for many years in this way, as the movie will be circulated around the community very regularly. In some cases ultra moderate family will upload it on youtube or some other website of this kind letting the whole world to enjoy the ceremony and without your permission you'll be seen without Hijab by many Na-Mehrams.

When there are thousands of people hungry and living in worst conditions, and majority of them can be found in our own country (Pakistan), it is a mandatory tradition to waste huge amount of food when you know that Allah gave you the meal before this meal and you'll surely take proper meal after this one then too who cares, one person will collect food for two people and will waste it without a single thought. People use to behave like if this is the first and the last meal in their life time.

Anyways much more can be highlighted on this issue but you can imagine how rich you are at the end of these functions.

Why? Why are we like this, when each of us know that this is not correct then too we do same every time. Why we don't have courage to reject invitations for such functions where we are dam sure that it will be full of unlawful things? Why don't we discourage these traditions?

Just because we don't want the relative/friend to feel bad if we reject the invitation, then what about Allah and Ahlebait (a.s.)? Are the friends superior to Ahlebait (a.s.) that we are giving preference to their displeasure on Ahlebait's (a.s) displeasure?

I admit that I am also same as all others but I want to change, are you ready to change?

Ask yourself!

Gheerah is the innate character in man which makes him not accept that other men illicitly look at his wife, daughters, sisters and mother. Gheerah is what makes a man safeguard his women relatives from non-mahram men.

The hijab fulfills and maintains this vital element in the family and the society as a whole; but the mixing of sexes and absence of a hijab and a screen between men and women when studying, working and socializing destroys the Gheerah in men.

Muslim men must have Gheerah for all Muslim women and must not accept for them what they do not accept for their own wife/ wives, daughters, sisters and mother.

Sense of Gheerah

We live in societies in which most men and women have lost their sense of modesty, women are obsessed with their appearances and wear clothes to be seen by others and to attract the attention of other men even if they are married! They have lost their sense of shame. Marriage is often looked upon as old-fashioned and short term affairs and frivolous relationships are the norm, everyone waiting to attract a better partner and feeling totally justified to dump one partner for another at the drop of a hat. Feminism too has reached its peak and men and women are told to suppress their natural emotions. Men are not even embarrassed when their wives are dressed up and attract the attention of other men, they don't mind if another man sees, chats, laughs and even dances with their womenfolk and if they do mind, they are told not to be so possessive!

In Islam we have a concept of Gheerah. Gheerah is an Arabic word which means protectiveness or jealousy. It is a good type of jealousy, like when a man feels jealous or protective over his wife or sisters and other-womenfolk and doesn't like other men to look at them. It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah (SWT) has given men and women. Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) had the most Gheerah for his wives and all of the companions were known for their Gheerah. All Muslim men should have a collective sense of protectiveness for Muslim women as Allah (SWT) says in the Qur'an: "The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women." (Surah An-Nisaa, Ayah 34). Men who do not care about how their women behave and appear in front of other men and don't enforce hijab upon their wives or women-folk are called Dayyooth. Being a Dayyooth is a major sin.

Nurturing our sense of Gheerah

Sometimes Muslim women don't understand if their men folk want them to cover their faces or if they ask them to change something about the way they dress or speak in public, thinking that the men are being over-protective. But my dear sisters! If your husband asks you not to wear a certain colour of khimaar because it brings out the beauty of your eyes, or if he wants you to cover your face - by Allah (SWT), be thankful! Be proud of the fact that your husband has a sense of Gheerah for you and that he values you and cares for your hereafter. He knows what men can be like more than you do and so never try and suppress his Gheerah in these types of matters. And his concern for you should incite your own sense of honour! Why should any man be able to see your beauty and think indecent thoughts about you? We must nurture our own and our menfolk's sense of Gheerah by behaving and dressing modestly ourselves and paying attention to their valid opinions. We expect certain behaviour from them and they expect it of us. And besides, if our husband asks us to do something that it not Haraam, we must do it.

Subhan Allah! Look at the difference between how Islam values and protects women and how cheaply women are treated outside of Islam! As Muslims we have to be careful that our Hayaa (sense of modesty and shame) and Gheerah doesn't wear out in a society in which people have lost their Hayaa and Gheerah.

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