I got married to someone of my own choice against the wishes of my parents to a man whose entire family lives in Asia in poverty. I felt like I was doing a good thing helping him and his family out of poverty. It took years before he could join me because I was disowned by my family I had to start again from scratch. I now have 2 children and am constantly arguing with my husband re his family. None of them wanted to study so they all dropped out before attaining their high school education. None of them work so I used to support them all bymyself. They have in the past requested money to start up a business after getting this large amount of money they carelessly squandered it. I gave them money for training which was wasted. If any of them got sick I gave money for CT/MRI/Xrays and doctors bills. They used my money to buy luxuries whilst I sat in my overcrowded home unable to give my children anything for the future.

Recently my husband and I argued about his brother who was yet again thowing money around and now after this girl he met. It got violent and he said he would divorce me. I took out a loan and invested money for this man who chose his family over me and his kids I feel sick about everything. He looked after me when I was sick but he loves his family so much I now have suicidal thoughts and he knows it but I can't get through to him about how awful his family are.

I spoke to my sister today she said its my test that Allah has given me and I am failing. I've stayed strong through so much but I feel like this time I am going to crack. All the time my family cast me aside and I was homeless the only thing getting me through the day was a caring husband. But now I look at my children and think and think until I can't breath.